


steps leading into the sea

by blackkat



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [13]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Development, Friendship, Gen, Getting Over Crushes, in which Kat attempts to write a character she hates and fails, probably miserably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:12:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8597488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: She hasn’t thought of Naruto in almost two weeks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (aka my twin asked me how I would write Hinata with actual rational character development, and this was my answer.)

Her feet are aching, each breath pulls at the stitch in her side, and she’s winded and sweaty and all but panting, clinging to the gnarled trunk of a tree somewhere in the north of Fire Country when the realization strikes her, and if she wasn’t already breathless that sudden comprehension would likely be enough to make her.

She hasn’t thought of Naruto in almost two weeks.

Hinata stares down at the rocks at the base of the tree, fingers curling into the bark, and swallows hard. There's a lump in her throat, a quick-sharp ache in her chest even though she can't think of any reason to be sad. It’s not the pang of loneliness she gets when she usually thinks about Naruto's absence, the sudden hole in her day that gapes like an empty wound when she can't see his face at least once. Or—gaped, rather, because—

How long, she thinks a little desperately, a little shaken. How long since she last tried to picture his smile? When did she last glance at Ichiraku and think it looked empty without him there, even if it was full of people?

It’s…unnerving. Strange. Ever since she was a small child her world has revolved around Uzumaki Naruto, his smile, his boldness, the image of him standing straight and pushing forward and never, ever giving up. And yet—

And yet she _forgot_ about him.

The heaviness in her chest isn’t guilt. The name doesn’t suit it, doesn’t fit, but it’s the closest she can think of. She wants to say _regret_ , but that isn’t right either. Taking a breath, she closes her eyes, tries to imagine Naruto's smile, his back in front of her, his laugh. And—

It’s just, she tells herself, that her memory isn’t as clear as it used to be. Naruto has been gone almost two years now, it’s logical that she can't quite recall the curve of his smile, the blue of his eyes, the particular shade of his hair. Reasonable, but. It hurts. It hurts in that strange way that isn’t guilt or regret, isn’t grief or loneliness, but she doesn’t know what it _actually_ is.

“Hey, Hinata!” Kiba calls, loud enough to startle a bird in the branches above her, and she startles a little, glancing up. Kiba is grinning at her, Akamaru standing braced at his side, and a little further on Shino has turned to look at her as well. She’s known him long enough, closely enough, that she can pick out the faint lines of worry that his glasses can't quite hide.

“You dead back there?” Kiba asks, and hooks a thumb at his partner. “Akamaru can carry you for a bit if you can't walk any further.”

The words sting, just faintly, and in a way that Hinata has never quite registered before. _Weak_ , something in her whispers, but instead of cringing from it as she normally would, Hinata closes her mouth, takes a breath, and pushes it firmly down.

“I'm okay,” she says, and her feet still hurt, her legs are aching, her throat is dry, but she steps away from the tree, takes a few quick steps to join her teammates. “Sorry to hold you up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kiba says easily, falling back into his deceptively easy run. Hinata grits her teeth and keeps pace, because there’s no way she’ll let herself fall behind again. They’ve been hunting all week, running all day, but the missing-nin they're after is well-known for her endurance. Their only hope is to outpace her in familiar territory. “Akamaru and I are just better at this stuff than most people, that’s all!”

Shino doesn’t quite roll his eyes—or if he does, Hinata can't see it—but he quickens his pace just a little, pulling ahead.

“Hey!” Kiba protests, putting on more speed as well, and Akamaru huffs in amusement, staying next to Hinata as his partner bolts after Shino.

Hinata giggles, would laugh if she could spare the oxygen, and keeps moving. Her Byakugan is activated, and the steady drain of chakra is only making her more tired, but she doesn’t let herself falter. They have a mission.

 _Naruto would want me to do my best_ , she thinks, and tries to pretend it doesn’t fall just a little flat, even in her mind.


End file.
